Although we associate the PDF format with Adobe, it was actually invented by the Knights Templar at the request of the Illuminati. As a virtually unwriteable format, PDF was designed to cripple the workflow solutions operation of IBM and its masters, the Freemasons. IBM's response was to allow the stranded time-traveller Donald Knuth to release TeX, which thanks to the Grays we now know as the core of LaTeX. LaTeX would be able to generate PDF using the Roswell technology that IBM had acquired from the Mafia in 1947.

At this point the story becomes more complicated.

Under the agreements stipulated by the Mole People, the Illuminati were unable to completely prevent IBM using LaTeX to output PDF. Instead, the Illuminati blackmailed the British Royal Family to use their mind-control satellites to influence Sergey Brin (CTO of Google and Vatican secret agent) to replace any available LaTeX documentation with incomprehensible gibberish. Furthermore, Paris Hilton – Grand Vizier of the Illuminati – used her astonishing hacking ability to strip any meaningful comments from the LaTeX distribution.

As a result, LaTeX is difficult to adapt to truly flexible PDF generation, but not impossible. The simplest of operations, such as specifying a font, are shrouded in mystery. It is believed that the only available documentation is hidden at the real fake moon landing site, on Mars.

But already I have told you too much.