So I recently returned from a four-day weekend, over which I turned 23 — which is I fear an old age for software developers, despite my older coworkers’ feelings on the matter.

Age isn’t the point though — the point is that while I was on this four-day weekend there were several instances where I was tempted to fire up the VPN connection and crack out a quick piece of code. This worries me greatly.

I know plenty of workaholics — most of them own their own businesses and are at least successful enough at it to get by. My father falls into this category. (Don’t worry, we’re not turning into a “Daddy didn’t love me enough, boo hoo” pity party here or anything, this has a point.) Because I knew these people and saw the effect firsthand, I never wanted to become someone who spent long hours at the office or every waking moment thinking about his job.

Then I go and get a job in the software industry. Lo and behold, day in and day out I have to go slave over a hot interpreter and churn out code. Which I love doing. Or, if that gets too rough, I can play some eight ball and have a beer. Which I love doing. I know, rough life, but I love my job, the downside of which is that I’m constantly thinking about doing it, and sometimes I even work after I’ve gone home for the evening. My fiancee doesn’t much care for that, as well she shouldn’t. Being on call in case some code I’m responsible for dies is one thing, but working late into the evening is another.

The biggest problem, as one of my coworkers can attest to, is that you feel like you have no “self” time. There’s got to be that distinction between being “on” and being “off.” Even if you go home and plan to relax for an hour or two then get some work done, you’re not relaxing as well as you would if you just said “No, I’m home, and unless something breaks I’m not working anymore.”

For me, I go home and relax by playing video games, or responsibly enjoying an adult beverage, or even programming things that aren’t work related — which can be fun. But the minute you let the job you get paid to do infiltrate your home life regularly, you find yourself in a pit that’s difficult to get out of. I know we love what we do, but there’s got to be a cutoff point.